Dating a man with a kid
Give Advice Here's the thing about all kids: They will listen to another adult before they listen to their own parents. Then, over time, I took it to the next level and offered advice about school, friends, food, movies, girls, etc. I may find myself in a new relationship that involves children one day, so I need as much advice on this topic as I can get.
I have been dating a guy with a 5 year old for 2 years now, we have plans to get married this summer, and we live together.
If this were "my kid," we would have been doing something else. Set the boundary with the boyfriend first -- in private. When they first started having babies, they freaked out if I told their toddlers, "No! Go Ahead and Fall in Love Let that child or children into your heart. Other people's children are such a blessing in my life, and I'm honestly very sad that I don't get to spend time with my ex-boyfriend's son anymore. One of the coolest things my cousin has ever done happened at her wedding.
But I quickly learned that this wasn't my kid, and the rules were different at my boyfriend's house. So if I felt a Playstation attack coming on, I left. I invited them places and if they didn't want to go, I went with someone else or by myself. If he doesn't do anything about it if it happens again, go straight to the kid. (And I can hear the parents recoiling that the childless girl is suggesting it! She not only gave vows to her new husband, she also gave vows to her new stepson.
Keep Your Own Life and Rules You'll need to find out the "rules" from the parent. The boyfriend might be oblivious to it, too, because he's too busy watching the football game. We shared inside jokes, teased each other ruthlessly, and I think deep down inside he loved me just as much as I loved him.
For example, my boyfriend was totally fine with letting his kid zone out in front of a Playstation for an entire Saturday afternoon. So it's up to you to point out that this makes you feel uncomfortable and is inappropriate. They practically beg me to take control of their kiddos at the restaurant. They're working, raising the kids, paying all the bills, doing all the housework, and are completely exhausted. I'm not saying you get to send them to their rooms or take away their phones. But sometimes they need to be told to CALM DOWN, STOP DOING THAT, ENOUGH! Because you aren't the parent, you get to do the easy disciplining, such as reminding them to eat over the plate because CRUMBS ARE GETTING EVERYWHERE, reminding them to go take a bath because it's bedtime already GEEZ HURRY UP, and hollering HEY STOP PULLING THE CAT'S TAIL when you hear the wee feline screech in pain. When you date someone who has a child, you're dating that child, too.
When your boo has children there are schedules, babysitters, school emergencies, and worst of all ... I've dated a man with kids twice and each time the ex stirred the relationship pot.
But some of the things they said or did were NOT funny. You will show me the same respect that you show women like your mother or teachers." BAM. You'll know when it's the right time -- mostly because you'll feel like your head is going to explode. Since it's his house, the tween will not realize the awkwardness of the situation.
Its becoming a strain now that I barely can say 2 words her and when I droits not good enough and she goes back to her mom and tells her that I'm so mean.
Causing a bigger strain because I know I did nothing wrong.
I was in a relationship with a man who had a 10-year-old son. I was 29 years old, and the majority of my friends in Chicago were childless or childfree, whichever term you prefer. I knew that by moving back here, I was inviting many children into my day-to-day life -- and probably my love life, too. Despite all of my fears, I reconnected with this man from my youth.
It turns out there is very little literature on how to date someone who has children. After running into him over a period of months, we began dating.